Now all of this is not really a big deal except it is not ME. I am, at heart, passionate and engaging, an idealist who has not yet been crushed by the weight of this life, a poet, a dreamer, a philosopher.. and all of this part of me, is being subdued by situation and circumstance. I am torn whether to set down roots to feel like i have someplace I belong (but in doing further suppress my own true nature and buy into a lifetime of debt I have struggled for years to be free from), or tear up what little roots i do have and roll along like a tumbleweed, freeing myself from all these self imposed bonds of mental slavery.
I have no answers. Only questions.