The Moth and The Flame

The moth is drawn 

It knows not why nor how

The flame has a magnetic quality

It is pure chaos

Like a train wreck 

One cannot look away

It will consume all that it is allowed

The moth knows it is a death spiral

It cares not

The flame need not reciprocate

Perhaps it is the consumption by flame that gives life tragic meaning and transient beauty

Echoes of shadows

She stands cold and vacant..

Nearly unrecognizable

Only a shell of her former self

Once full of love

She is lonely now

Many lives have touched this place

Love has lived within her walls

Now she stands empty, save for debris of lives that moved along

and the echoes of shadows upon her walls

Embers in the Ashes

 Attachment is the root of all suffering, they say
I suppose it depends on which side of the attachment you are on..
Parasites are to be despised

Some walk away with a belly full of soul and act righteous on their way

Some will even nurture their prey like a farmer fattening a goose for the fois..

So cunning

There is a reason that fire is so archetypal

It so thoroughly destroys

But when the fire is done and one is left to clean up the ashes, be careful of the embers..

There are always little bits, tiny sparks left behind

Hungrily and eagerly they await the opportunity to feed again

One must wait for some time

...the hotter the fire, the longer the wait..  ...   ...

To shift through the ashes

The ashes of the consumed guard the embers, 

the surviving spark

Some loves are like fire

They burn brightly and have utility... even in their departure 

The embers in the ashes are like seeds to be planted in fertile ground..

..Before they go out

Give me your word

 My father once tried to impress upon me that the most important and most valuable thing a person has is their word. If you give your word that you will do something or not do something, your word is a commitment. No contract, no oath, no swearing necessary. Look them in the eye, shake their hand and give your word, and that is a commitment. I would argue that this mindset is an aspect of integrity, trustworthiness, and honor. It has been suggested that any society's greatest natural resource is an inherent honor, a valid belief that you can trust a person to give their word and actually take them at their word to follow through, regardless of what may happen thereafter. For an example of how powerful this can be, look at Japan. I have always strived to embody this idea, and even when it has bitten me due to circumstances, it is a powerfully positive way to do business. 

I have a story on this subject from years ago, as I remember it; 

Once upon a time, I borrowed a friend's truck, with the agreement that if anything happened to the truck, I would take care of it. Upon arrival at my destination (200 miles away) I discovered that the rear brakes were metal to metal which means, they needed to be replaced immediately. Having given my word, I was committed to repair the vehicle, and I did, but I was stung and educated by the deal because I paid for parts that I did not cause the failure of, they only finally failed while the vehicle was in my possession. Probably 99.99% of the wear that caused the failure of the brakes was caused by the owner or previous borrowers, but I still paid for the parts out of my pocket. I have no issue with that, because that is what I agreed to, but even though the owner was not obligated to do so, the honorable thing for him to do would have been to offer to pay me back for the parts cost because it was his vehicle and he was keeping the parts I installed on his vehicle. As I remember it, That offer never came. I don't even know if the owner was unaware of the impending brake failure, and perhaps made the loan deal knowing it might result in him getting work done on his vehicle, parts and labor free. This is a perfect example of the power of giving your word and having an expectation of reciprocal honor. I kept my word, so my honor is intact. He did not break his word but he still did not act in an honorable way, and his reputation suffers for it. Of course in the final analysis, I'm glad something more expensive did not fail, and I learned a lesson..

This is just a fragment of my headspace on this subject which was initiated by listening to a lecture on the psychological significance of the biblical stories by Jordan Peterson. Specifically, the lecture about a half blind Isaac giving his blessing to Jacob who is pretending to be Esau (the eldest son), and thus steals Esau's birthright.. and Isaac cannot retract the blessing, it has already been given, the words are spoken, it cannot be undone.. Peterson (wrongfully imho) seems to somewhat denigrate the idea that the deal, even when predicated on falsehood, cannot be undone, which seems to be a moral lesson to be careful in one's speech and to contextual details. This is important. 

I have found these lectures to be extremely powerful, thought provoking and so worth the time, that i have listened to them all several times and continue to find new facets and depth hidden within them every time. 

 Peterson Biblical Lecture Series (YouTube)

A Mid-Summers Night

At Some point (if you are lucky) it may hit you, that any negative emotion that you have for events of the past are only evidence of your own attachment to the past and willful blindness to the invisible greater good, AND more importantly that the negativity shades our interactions with the present, and thereby steers the future. It creates a feedback loop of negativity.

This could be a part of the true meaning of, 

"To those who have everything more will be given, and from those who have nothing, everything will be taken"

Gratitude is the single most valuable attitude toward all the events of our lives.

As Jocko would say, "GOOD"

The Ultimate

The anti climactic feel is palpable

We try to move along but ultimately, we are just going in circles..

Loneliness is not born of being alone

Loneliness is born of feeling alone

Feeling as though there is no one who understands

No one who can truly relate

No one who feels exactly what you(I) feel 

No one who cares enough to even try to relate

And even the effort, what little is offered, is not enough

If your life has soiled you, left you less in the eyes of others

Dirtied by the detritus of life

Maybe on some small level, you can relate.

All we want is love

If not from a mate, at least from some soul who appreciates and reciprocates your care for them

Be it blood or friend, two legged or four

We want a place to belong, someone to belong with and someone who belongs with us

A linkage of lineage

A place in the chain of life

Somewhere where we matter, where our sacrifices matter

Where our choices to 

Do good 

Protect the innocent and 

Be honorable

Matter

Apparently, that place is not here

Perhaps it is not on this plane

How does one skip to the next?

Point & Counterpoint

Its funny
Two opposite feelings can coexist
At war with each other
Yet dependent upon each other to exist
As the prophet says
Things derive their being and nature from their opposites,
   -and are nothing in themselves

Hierarchy versus Meritocracy

This is the kind of crazy thing that runs through it mind like a freight train at random moments.:
So lobsters and humans diverged from a common ancestor over 300 million years ago and lobsters have a neurological circuit that is tuned to their place in their hierarchy. If they fight and lose, they shrink down a little and recoil from that competitor in the future. If they fight and win, they stretch out in a more victorious pose. So what?
Their hierarchy system runs on serotonin just human brains.
So what? This means that hierarchies are an intrinsic and essential part of being for many species  including humans, and how could in not be? Effectively, it is a biological case for the purpose of hierarchies in social orders and how they rank individuals which offers preferential access to mating.
It is arguably a natural law, a meritocracy, which by design encourages the mating success of the best candidates, those who offer the best qualities to future generations.
Humans are no different, except for our qualifiers. We, in our comfortable lives over the last hundred years or so, have lost touch with what is important and have corrupted our own selection mechanisms so that now some bad guys are selected as the best guy, most desirable candidate for mating.
This societal dysfunction has caused major resentment in the hearts of young men who scrupulously do the good right and honorable things only to be overlooked by the target of their affections,  so they become assholes to attract what they desire, and often stop aspiring to the good. This has huge societal impact in a dysfunctional feedback loop.
This is a parallel to the body politic in that once upon a time, it was a hierarchy of honor and decency, learned and wise. But it is no longer that. The Senate and Congress are no longer populated with the best and brightest, operating with good and noble intentions, it is all posturing and manipulation, games of control, mud slinging and selling us, the public, down the river for their own payday.
But what if it were a meritocracy?
What if we could sweep the leeches and controlling hatemongers out of office and replace then all with people who have some scruples and decency about them?
What if our political system caused the best and brightest, those with the greatest measure of honor and conscientiousness to rise to the top, to positions of greater power because those are the people who could best be trusted with that power?
Could you imagine the greatness that could be achieved?
Yeah. That was a 2 second thought at about 10am today
Hierarchy is a meritocracy. And hierarchy is a natural law, therefore a meritocracy is the best possible system to employ to govern because it is analogous to a natural law, or at very least the closest to one in can think of.

home is

They say home is where the heart is

But what if your heart is homeless,

And all have you are faint echoes of faded memories?

Then your home is everywhere and nowhere

Your home is the protective shell you withdraw within like a turtle, the shell that protects you against the harsh brutality of the world.. 

safe and warm.. but in the dark.

What is the measure of a man

As years slip by with increasing speed, one pauses to ponder, what is the measure of a man?
Is it the number of respects paid
Is it the number of tears shed upon his passage?
Or is it perhaps, the net positive imprint he leaves on the world?
Perhaps it is all three
What did you do?
How did you love?
What impact did you leave?
Even if only by way of having taught us which path not to take, teachers are the most impactful people in our lives
And our first teachers are our parents
My father was a great man.
He was never rich yet had wealth beyond measure in the circle of friends who loved him and came to pay their respects upon his passage from this domain.
Down the hall, out the door and down the street, this was the description of the alleged line of people who came to pay respects to our father.
I never verified the truth of it, i just accepted it was so, because it was abundantly credible to me.
And I wanted to believe it
By that measure of a man, his were shoes I could never fill
My best hope for any real measure is to teach what not to do
Because I tried too much it, and I learned the hard way, it was a bad idea
I would implore you, Listen to that still small voice of conscience on your shoulder
While it does not have all the answers, it will try to stop you from life alteringly bad decisions
Never surrender your heart or soul to anyone or anything but the good, the light
There are choices you can make that will derail your train such that you will never get it back on the tracks again.
Ever.
Mind your good intentions, your heart and your soul, and do what is right, even if no one else is doing it.
Even if that means you walk alone
Sometimes, it only takes one spark to light up the dark
And it is in the dark that a spark shines brightest
This is no high art, no classic rhythm and rhyme, I am not a learned man
But there is a truth here, and it would serve you to learn it:
Love is the root of all good things
LOVE TO YOU ALL