I came to believe several years ago that you alone are responsible for your own feelings and that the spoken word of another person is not responsible for how you feel, but I have recently realized that is not quite right. It seems that the impact that someone else's opinions have on you is directly related to how important that person is to you, so there is a silently negotiated, mutual responsibility for the impact we have on each other.
Now, to the socially adept individual, this is probably painfully obvious but for me this is a revelation of significant importance and one that is worthy of preservation in text before it disappears from my memory like so many other revelations have.
This realization shines a blinding light on my failure to properly weigh & consider my friends' and family's (and my ex's) feelings in my conduct and discourse.
I am very sorry to all of you for that
I am after all, quite fallible.
Another recent realization relates to the innate sense of fair play the exists even in less intelligent species. As was revealed by a study, rats love rough and tumble wrestling play, and have a natural understanding of fair play. In this study, if you pair up two rats of very different strengths, the big one can always win, but if he doesn't let the little one win at least 30% of the time, the little one will stop playing.
I realize that in my past relationship I have always focused on winning (debates mostly) (side effect of being the youngest of 3 boys in my family) and thus destroyed my last relationship. Never mind all the rest of them probably.
Now, to the socially adept individual, this is probably painfully obvious but for me this is a revelation of significant importance and one that is worthy of preservation in text before it disappears from my memory like so many other revelations have.
This realization shines a blinding light on my failure to properly weigh & consider my friends' and family's (and my ex's) feelings in my conduct and discourse.
I am very sorry to all of you for that
I am after all, quite fallible.
Another recent realization relates to the innate sense of fair play the exists even in less intelligent species. As was revealed by a study, rats love rough and tumble wrestling play, and have a natural understanding of fair play. In this study, if you pair up two rats of very different strengths, the big one can always win, but if he doesn't let the little one win at least 30% of the time, the little one will stop playing.
I realize that in my past relationship I have always focused on winning (debates mostly) (side effect of being the youngest of 3 boys in my family) and thus destroyed my last relationship. Never mind all the rest of them probably.
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