The Irony of Love and Loss

The irony of love and loss are that those who we love will always have a special place in our hearts,  and hence cause us pain in their absence for the rest of our lives. We are after all a bunch of social creatures, we crave connection to others like us. It is a desire we feel right down to our bones. How then do we avoid this pain? I have systematically avoided pursuit of real joy in hopes that the misery that comes in life will be less dramatic of a difference from the emotional baseline. Some would argue (and have argued) that this only robs me of the joy but does not protect against the pain. There may be a truth in that..

After spending eight years together, it feels like a failure to walk away from the longest relationship of my life. There were so many memories made, so many moments shared.. and so many mistakes made. None the less, the space, the void left behind is cavernous and cannot be filled by outside means. It must be filled from within.

Fair Warning!

I have, for the past two years been working much harder than I had to, to try to get on the right side of some financial situations.. and I've made great progress in those efforts.  However, I have also lost pieces of myself, my mind, my memory, my wit, my creativity, and severely damaged most of my relationships including having my uncle slip away without my even really noticing until he was mostly gone. My life has become work and getting paid at the expense of all else including my own sacred essence.
No More.
I fully intend to dial back to a reasonable work schedule to pursue some higher learning and a renewed course of self-discovery which is likely to include a significantly increased regularity of posting here and spouting off of random thoughts.
You've been warned!