Friday, June 17, 2016

Forgive us our trespasses..

It seems I owe a thank you and an apology to all.

I am sorry for everything I’ve done that has tread upon the kindness, decency and patience of others. I know now that I’ve done a lot of damage along the way and I need to start trying to make amends. The old metaphor of a bull in a china shop fits well. This is worthy of a significant amount of contrition, as a point of recognition of my own errant ways, and that is my intention here. 

One of the constant drives in my life is the pursuit of personal growth, and recent changes in my life have made me step back and think about how I am, how I have treated people. I’ve come to rediscover that I am, in all candor, at least occasionally, an asshole. .  and I owe an apology for that to the universe and all souls contained therein.  Even though I am generally well intentioned, I realize that I am also ignorant, impatient, intolerant, judgmental and a ranting fool. I’ve said and done things that I wish I had not and damaged or outright destroyed relationships and occasionally hurt people throughout my life.  
I have for many years converted mild depression into anger for survival and motivation, which made me callous to other’s depression because it is a mindset I can no longer empathize with,  without falling into it wholly.  The chosen inability to empathize makes me seem like I don’t care, but that is not the truth at all. But I digress..

If I have tread heavily upon your kindness or good will, I am truly sorry for that and for any negative repercussion to your state or well being. We are all just travelers to this time and place, and I’m trying to move on from the bad choices and bad behavior of my past. The saying goes, “you cannot pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first”. 

Thank you all for the lessons, the kindness, the forgiveness, the love, and  the time to read this