Thursday, September 6, 2007

"Sweaty Brain" or "Nicotine Withdrawal"

I want free of this..
my mind races in no particular direction
reliving and rehashing old wounds.. old loves.. old losses..
walking on eggshells when all i want is to scream out loud in the faces of those who would listen..
to show them how thin the line is between now and lost forever
how carefully i'm walking the line..
how dangerous my path,
how tenuous my footing..
I slow my breathing..
I slow my heart
I face the world again.


for some reason today, my mind flashed to loves and lusts i've known..
why should they now come forth from the depths of my mind?
do i seem to be somehow in need of a bit of misery?
a splash of exquisite agony..
the memories of profound feelings are indeed a joy, but..
set against the backdrop of this moment.. they are torturous..