3.14

Major changes cause reverberations throughout our lives..
Just like the harmonics of a reverberating bell ringing through my head.
314 was the hour on the clock that I woke to, not due to alarm or any known cause, just that i simply snapped awake at the exact time, many times over several weeks, while i was living at my uncle's house several years ago. The number on the front door of the house.. was 314 as well.
I wondered at this for a long time, partially because it is also the first three digits of pi, an extremely important mathematical constant.
Most times when I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason I think nothing of it, roll over and go back to sleep, but sometimes i'm drawn back to that period of my life, when it happened a lot and wonder why.

There is a cost, a toll to be paid for the intentional suppression of our own native feral nature, the desire, the NEED to run screaming into the dark, away from this place, this life which is not what we ever wanted. We fall into the trap of this existence because it is perceived as the norm, and as such we think that perhaps WE are the oddity, we that want to live free of these encumbrances, we that are living a life which is a jail cell of tortured existence, a subject, a worker bee..
The price to be paid is that we lose ourselves, moment by moment, becoming just another cog in the machine.

There still exists in me a spark, a fire of creation in which great things are forged and destroyed again before ever seeing the light of day. It is necessary.